The Perez Hilton of meat culture. http://unleashthebeef.com/ ©2010 UnleashTheBeef.com. All Rights Reserved. unleashthebeef@gmail.com unleashthebeef@gmail.com http://unleashthebeef.com/images/mad cow.bmp http://unleashthebeef.com/ http://unleashthebeef.com/unleash_the_mail_fat_edition.html Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:49:01 GMT Unleashing the mailbag in response to those fighting for fatties [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/girls_of_summer_nh_edition.html Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:11:48 GMT Summertime in New Hampshire and bitches be struttin' they shit [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/post_coital_candor.html Sun, 07 Aug 2011 22:23:49 GMT Women fake orgasms. Men fake things after orgasms [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_intersection_of_stupidity_and_socialism.html Thu, 04 Aug 2011 09:11:46 GMT This summer, see what happens when willpower alone fails to raise one's IQ into the triple-digit range. Jason Bourne returns to action in TThe Bourne Miscarriage" [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/gabamania_runs_wild.html Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:12:40 GMT Casting an unneeded vote in favor of expanding the leak in an already sinking ship is not corageous, inspirational, or patriotic [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/official_cause_of_death_xbox.html Sun, 31 Jul 2011 20:59:17 GMT Chris Staniforth, an Xbox-addicted human sloth from Sheffield, England, managed to Halo-marathon himself to death at twenty years of age [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/soul_break.html Sun, 31 Jul 2011 10:55:13 GMT Last night, I looked into the eyes of an obnoxious, obese female at the very moment her soul broke [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/common_at_white_house.html Thu, 12 May 2011 02:35:05 GMT Because there are absolutely no pressing issues in the free, prosperous, nearly perfect United States, millions of blundering, partisan fuss-buckets are now engaged in a competition to see who can feign the most righteous indignation over the fact that hip-hop artist Common has been invited to that shining beacon of human decency, the White House [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/right_move_wrong_perspective.html Wed, 11 May 2011 00:24:10 GMT I love the fact that people in Sedgwick, Maine have declared that - as self-determining, individual human beings - they'll eat whatever they choose, regardless of the commands of those in government that would be so all-encompassingly cuntish as to attempt to govern the digestive tracts of others.<br><br>However... http://unleashthebeef.com/is_there_no_place_sacred.html Mon, 09 May 2011 01:46:01 GMT Just outside of Dallas, it's 6 p.m. and a sun-drenched 75 degrees of temperate perfection - perfect weather for Fruit Loops and video games! [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/royalty_schmoyalty.html Mon, 02 May 2011 01:41:24 GMT Thirty percent of the human beings on Earth watched a wedding that affects their life in no reality-based way, all because of the insane, archaic notion that some pale, prematurely balding dillbag in England's bloodline makes him divine [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/smart_slice_my_throat.html Sun, 24 Apr 2011 20:29:03 GMT Domino's Pizza is offering the societal dregs of tomorrow "a revolutio[ary]... line of delicious, nutritious pizzas created specifically for schools" called Smart Slice [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/words_can_be_hurtful.html Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:56:19 GMT Kobe Bryant received a technical foul from NBA referee Bennie Adams, and after taking a seat on the Lakers' bench, was seen on camera saying "fucking faggot" in frustration toward the call. And the Earth stood still [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/bear.html Mon, 14 Mar 2011 03:47:12 GMT Few men have range. Few men inspire. Few men think for themselves. Few men stand out despite an allergic avoidance of the spotlight. Few men simply don't give a shit what you think about any of this [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/ride_alongs_arent_sexy.html Mon, 21 Feb 2011 10:55:26 GMT Today, I was waited on by a cute, petite cashier who just so happened to be prodigiously endowed in the mammary glandular area. She was perky and flirtatious and, as usual, I was considering exposing myself to her. Joking. Kind of [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/a_letter_from_paul.html Sat, 19 Feb 2011 12:37:51 GMT It's great to have cretins, imbeciles, and vegans submit their idiocy, but for the sake of sanity... and mankind... it's reassuring to get emails like this one from Paul [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_war_on_pubes.html Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:05:42 GMT Lindsay Ferrier is 'horrified' at the realization that teenage girls are habitually shaving their beaves these days. What this says about the state of affairs south of Ferrier's Panty-Dixon line remains unknown, but I'd take a pass on the opportunity to find out [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_modern_american_warrior.html Fri, 04 Feb 2011 11:36:49 GMT The Tubalard Warrior and his fleshy wench [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/an_unobstructed_view_of_fur_lined_unconsciousness.html Wed, 02 Feb 2011 11:26:08 GMT This gratuitous post is designed only to appeal to my sense of depressed wonderment at the irreparable stupidity of others and to those that experience similar dismay [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/january_search_terms_almost_cock_free_edition.html Mon, 31 Jan 2011 10:36:07 GMT I should do this more often considering the ease-to-entertainment ratio of simply listing the search engine terms that bring the world's most disturbed minds from the bowels of internet hell here to Unleash The Beef [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/now_i_aint_sayin_she_a_beef_digger.html Wed, 26 Jan 2011 01:20:09 GMT It ain't every ding-dang day you hear from a broad that truly gets it. Kristen, however, ain't your every day ding-dang broad. Witness UTB's first-ever estrogen-fueled unleashing of beef [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/societal_self_defeatism_boston_edition.html Mon, 24 Jan 2011 01:06:14 GMT Survival of the fittest is real, but in our relentless societal self-defeatism, we enable survival of the fattest [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/frequently_badgered_questions_vege_fruitarianism.html Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:47:10 GMT Some of the most common questions I'm asked are about my eating habits pre-meat, specifically my no-meat phase, and how I came to arrive at all meat. This addresses all of that [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/frequently_badgered_questions_part_3_on_views.html Wed, 19 Jan 2011 09:21:25 GMT I do my best to respond to all emails, at least ones that say more than 'ur a asshold' and particularly ones from readers with questions about diet, lifestyle, or philosophy. Here's everything you've wondered about my views [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/frequently_badgered_questions_part_2_on_diet.html Tue, 18 Jan 2011 00:28:31 GMT I do my best to respond to all emails, at least ones that say more than 'ur a asshold' and particularly ones from readers with questions about diet, lifestyle, or philosophy. Here's everything you've wondered about my diet [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/frequently_badgered_questions_part_1_on_me.html Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:42:35 GMT I do my best to respond to all emails, at least ones that say more than 'ur a asshold' and particularly ones from readers with questions about diet, lifestyle, or philosophy. Here's everything you've wondered about me [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/heads_up.html Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:13:03 GMT A quick heads up for what's to follow this week, a little Joe Rogan, and a splash of Norm MacDonald [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/good_times_in_tucson.html Sun, 16 Jan 2011 10:50:08 GMT I had no intention of touching the ongoing stupidity over the Tucson, AZ shit show with a ten-foot pole, or my two-inch pecker, but too many emailers have solicited my opinion on the matter. C'mon. I eat meat and encourage people to fist themselves, what do you want from me? It should be obvious that this event, like all events that captivate the two-digit IQ'ed populace of America, is a volcanic mountain of bullshit [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/welcome_to_pharmaceuticalville_nh.html Fri, 14 Jan 2011 01:33:27 GMT "Only things being built anywhere: pharmacies, banks, hospitals. The end is near."<br><br>This was the alarmingly savvy comment made by a friend after I asked when my hometown of Laconia, NH began building a separate pharmacy for every resident of the city [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/jillian_michaels_please_fight_me.html Thu, 13 Jan 2011 11:11:29 GMT Since I can't un-see what I witnessed on the season premier of The Biggest Loser, I'm left to deal with the scars here on my beefy little website [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/a_touch_of_tongue.html Tue, 11 Jan 2011 17:36:08 GMT You haven't experienced the gustatory pleasure cows are capable of providing until you've shoved some cow tongue in your mouth [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/pizza_night_at_planet_fatness.html Sun, 09 Jan 2011 17:48:42 GMT If running with the bulls in Pamplona is dancing with death, getting between a stack of pizzas and the lumpy, frumpy, carb-addicted clientele of Planet Fitness is bobbing for AIDS in a bucket of razor blades and Magic Johnson's blood [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/heres_your_food_porn_you_creep.html Thu, 06 Jan 2011 23:42:06 GMT I dislike the phrase "food porn." Maybe I'm the odd man out in that phrases such as "granny porn" and "tranny porn" cause me less alarm than ""food porn," but it just doesn't feel right [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/fat_is_your_friend_so_is_dr_eric_westman.html Tue, 04 Jan 2011 12:41:05 GMT Few human beings deal in reality. Within the medical establishment, the percentages are even less in favor of truth. Amongst those making dietary recommendations within the medical establishment, the number of sane, reality-based individuals could likely be counted on one's fingers and toes, even if said medical establishment has unnecessarily amputated a few of them [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/beef_water_marijuana.html Tue, 04 Jan 2011 01:23:32 GMT Last week I posted a sensational email from Corey. I closed that post by saying that I may begin replacing original content with his emails. I wasn't joking. The cat is on fire! Witness the proper unleashing of beef, water, and weed [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/government_funded_grape_soda.html Mon, 03 Jan 2011 01:41:22 GMT It is virtually impossible for me to enter any retail store and exit without something to write about on this asinine website. Today's trip to Target was par for the course [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/bewildered_by_meat.html Thu, 30 Dec 2010 14:40:13 GMT According to Marion Nestle, professor of nutrition at New York University, there are "people who are bewildered by what's in meat." Really? People out there in middle-America are losing their bearings in confused wonderment over the contents of meat, Professor? [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/best_email_ever.html Wed, 29 Dec 2010 14:46:18 GMT With the exception of everything written by Joan The Vegan, the following is - start to finish - the best email I have received at UnleashTheBeef [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/meat_ass_happiness.html Mon, 27 Dec 2010 12:39:52 GMT Male chimps have figured out the key to chimp-poon is a successful hunt. I wouldn't call this remarkable or enlightening. I'd call it natural, obvious, and endlessly observable within our own species, not just the one closest to us [...]<br> http://unleashthebeef.com/last_christmas_i_gave_you_my_cart.html Tue, 21 Dec 2010 23:52:08 GMT While it's widely acknowledged that the rules of the road have long since been abandoned by nearly all Americans, the fact that shopping cart etiquette has gone to hell in a one horse open assbasket goes largely unaddressed. So let's address it [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/mainstream_meat_redemption.html Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:55:25 GMT LA Times readers got something unexpected this holiday season; a dash of accuracy and truth. For those of you still relying heavily on Starbucks multi-grain bagels and double iced cinnamon rolls as primary fuel sources, read this article and taste some dietary reality [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/reasons_i_hate_you_3011_jackson.html Sun, 19 Dec 2010 11:46:09 GMT So, you named your kid 'Jackson.'<br><br>Great going, Mom and Dad. You've provided the world with one more pseudo-intellectual asswipe that will attend a state school, grow his curly hair out, wear dark framed glasses, cargo pants, and a peacoat, major in Literature, and drive to the frayed ends of sanity anyone in his classes that isn't a prototype intelli-douche [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/unsolicited_dietary_doltishness.html Thu, 16 Dec 2010 00:50:56 GMT Either today was National Display Your Dietary Idiocy Day, or the lummoxes I'm surrounded by are playing a practical joke on me that would shatter my presumptions of their compromised brain function [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/mainstream_meat_always_a_disappointment.html Mon, 13 Dec 2010 00:53:38 GMT Pro-meat sentiments pop up in mainstream press from time to time. While this might seem to please a carnivorous cat like myself, it's inevitably a disappointment as the supposed pro-meat message is eventually mitigated by some cautionary nonsense about "moderation" or a quasi-placation about the inescapable guilt of meat consumption. If eating meat arouses guilt in you, I strongly suggest hitting the reset button and relearning how to be a human being [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_meats_for_sale_you_just_cant_buy_it.html Wed, 08 Dec 2010 03:35:22 GMT I'm really not a dick. But when someone is an asshole, it's only proper for that person to be fucked. Last night I had the social misfortune/comedic good fortune of encountering one such individual [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/thought_for_the_vegans.html Wed, 08 Dec 2010 03:33:42 GMT Yes, that is an actual butter baconwich I photographed myself before immediately ingesting. Sure, it's not as tasty as a veggie medley, or say, a tofu salad, but it will do in a pinch [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/unleash_the_mail_joan_the_vegan.html Wed, 08 Dec 2010 03:32:00 GMT I give to you a December mailbag featuring UnleashTheBeef's #1 faniac, Joan the Vegan, who has set out to save the world, one celery stalk and one unfunny (but unintentionally hysterical) email at a time [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/grain_fed_vs_grass_fed.html Tue, 30 Nov 2010 19:27:07 GMT Many refer to the relentless grain-fed/grass-fed issue as a debate, but facts - laws of nature - are not debatable. And here's a fact: Grass-fed cows are healthier than grain-fed cows [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/i_cant_believe_im_still_conscious.html Sun, 28 Nov 2010 00:50:12 GMT Brace yourselves for the most unmitigated audio/visual mind-fuck/soul-rape you will ever experience. They say when you go too far on a psychedelic trip, you never really come back. I've never done acid, but the catatonic stupor I've been unable to escape since my unsuspecting, high-definition exposure to this advertisement leads me to believe I will never be my former self [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/bullies_pussies_and_tsa_cretins.html Mon, 22 Nov 2010 00:19:20 GMT Does the third grade bully keep stealing your milk money at lunch? Why not convince the fifth grade bully to beat him up? Sure, the fifth grade bully still pees on your feet at recess every day, but at least that third grade bully is out of the way. Congratulations on learning to not solve problems! You're now prepared for life as an adult in 21stt century America [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/dill_weed.html Sun, 21 Nov 2010 01:56:01 GMT Every time I pass the spice section at my local grocery and see "DILL WEED," I spend the ensuing ninety seconds giggling like the whoreson of Beavis and Butt-head. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/texas_only_13th_fattest_state.html Wed, 17 Nov 2010 01:16:56 GMT Thank fatness for cell phone cameras. I took these two photographs within sixty seconds of each other. It then took less than sixty seconds to masturbate to completion as I was wildly aroused. http://unleashthebeef.com/daily_bread.html Fri, 12 Nov 2010 02:16:22 GMT Hooray pictures! Readers bombard my inbox with requests/demands that I post pictures of the things I eat. As I've mentioned before, I'm not one of these foodsie freakshows that tries to make his plate into a work of art before consuming what's on it. And I don't do the Art DeVany routine where I try to include every color of the rainbow in my meal before taking pictures of it with a scenic background and posting it for my minions to stroke themselves to. For the sake of the bovine, people, I eat nothing but meat - what impact will pictorial evidence of this fact have on your life? A photo such as this one of the two hundred pounds of grassfed ribeye I hauled home, or this one, or this one, or this one, should give you a fairly good idea what can be found on my dinner plate. Must you really ogle it in its prepared state? Sweet Christ in a carseat. Against my better judgment - which tells me to ignore you people for your own good, shut down this website, and get as far away from civilization as I possibly can - I'll relent and scratch your itch with some beefy-assed food photography courtesy of my cellular telephonic device [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/meat_me_back_home.html Wed, 10 Nov 2010 16:36:56 GMT I can only imagine the humanity that surfaces for an American Legion meat raffle in central New Hampshire [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/dont_vote_quotes.html Sun, 31 Oct 2010 22:58:50 GMT "My advice? For starters, don't vote. Don't legitimize your own enslavement by agreeing that ANYONE should rule you." [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/voting_act_of_the_proud_slave.html Sun, 31 Oct 2010 20:30:32 GMT Those that vote refuse to acknowledge that freedom can be had not by cheering for new masters, but simply by walking away [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/put_down_the_candy.html Sun, 31 Oct 2010 20:30:20 GMT If the wet dreams of modern children consist of crowd control techniques, pepper spray, and rubber bullets, the end of civilization can't be far off. Here's hoping so. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/angel_of_meat_lives.html Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:32:04 GMT The woman of my dreams has materialized in the flesh. http://unleashthebeef.com/happy_birthday_utb.html Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:40:48 GMT It was only 365 days ago that I officially penetrated the internet with my hot beef injection. You're welcome, world. http://unleashthebeef.com/things_i_can_do_without_3064.html Fri, 02 Jul 2010 01:52:43 GMT Why can't I enter a Whole Foods without having to look at some pair of tank--top and cargo-shorts-clad middle-aged Lesbetarians, smelling up the checkout line, comparing armpit hair, waiting to pay for two loaves of sprouted whole grain bread and a sack of bulk wheat germ? http://unleashthebeef.com/middle_aged_beautiful_buttery_backup.html Tue, 29 Jun 2010 02:35:36 GMT The bad news: my farmer is out of butter. The good news: I'm in love. http://unleashthebeef.com/iphone4.html Sat, 26 Jun 2010 12:47:50 GMT What are the chances that anyone that actually camps out in a line to purchase a telephone has ever made direct consensual contact with female genitals? [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/free_your_mind_and_the_meat_will_follow.html Wed, 23 Jun 2010 01:44:15 GMT When one insulates himself, to the best of his ability, from the relentless stupidity of mainstream "information," and surrounds himself with like-minded people, or, better yet, no people at all, he's apt to lose site of just how drastically out of touch with truth the average individual is [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/oh_but_it_continues.html Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:37:07 GMT As though the madness of the grassfed ribeye sale two weeks ago wasn't enough, Sprouts left me no choice but to load in another hundred pounds of meat this week, officially maxing out my frozen storage until I'm able to convert my entire living space into a meat freezer [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/where_you_going_with_that_bone.html Fri, 18 Jun 2010 01:32:58 GMT I'm assuming this delicate male flower, who apparently allows his dog a choice of Count Chocula, Fruity Pebbles, and Immunity Flavored Rice Krispies each morning, hadn't gotten around to reading anything else on the site, or he'd have been savvy enough to not email me the following article for my consideration [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/may_induce_creamed_jeans.html Wed, 16 Jun 2010 01:37:48 GMT Spring sunshine + pastured cows = me happily drowning myself in dairy fat. Look at that. A quart of freshly thickened raw cream with which I will soon make the infamous apple pie rape from American Pie seem like a comparative peck on the cheek [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/name_change_brother.html Mon, 14 Jun 2010 01:32:26 GMT In homage to The Immortal Hulk Hogan, who refers to God as "The Big Hulkamaniac In The Sky." my penis has legally changed its name from "David Hasselhoff Jr." to "The Little Hulkamaniac In My Pants." http://unleashthebeef.com/unleash_the_mail_june_2010.html Thu, 10 Jun 2010 01:30:47 GMT I don't post mailbags nearly as often as I should because it's almost too easy. Conversing with the caliber of person that actually emails a stranger with complaints or challenges is like competing in Little League at my current age and ability [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/a_butchered_reality.html Sun, 06 Jun 2010 11:22:54 GMT Ah, Texas. Beef capital USA. I was planning to hit Dallas this past weekend, and since the grassfed farms I've come across thus far either A) jumped on the grassfed bandwagon in order to charge exorbitant prices from fancy-pants asshats or B) aren’t in the habit of returning calls from would-be customers seeking to make large purchases, I decided to Google map butchers in town. What pops up but an "award-winning" little butcher shop with an uber-German name boasting "something for everyone's budget," including grassfed Angus beef. Hot damn. Texas + German + Beef = A recipe for my great joy. At least in theory [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/in_defense_of_the_double_down.html Sun, 06 Jun 2010 01:01:04 GMT I've heard too much misinformed blather from celery-stroking fat-a-phobics carrying on over the horror of the existence of what's arguably the most nutritionally complete fast food item ever sold. http://unleashthebeef.com/heaven_for_sale.html Sat, 05 Jun 2010 02:19:28 GMT You're looking at 221 pounds of 100% grass-fed, boneless Australian ribeye. I'll pause while you orgasm. All cleaned up? Okay. http://unleashthebeef.com/reo_free_wagon.html Thu, 03 Jun 2010 03:01:43 GMT REO Speedwagon played Liberty Fest nearby in Farmers Branch, Texas Saturday night. Price of admission: Free. Twist my arm [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/reiteration.html Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:54:48 GMT Just to further enrage the reactionaries that are already bombarding me with life-threatening emails in response to yesterday's post, here are a few other noteworthy takes that they won't watch / read / consider [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/kill_more_foreigners.html Mon, 31 May 2010 22:41:01 GMT If there's one thing Americans love celebrating en masse, it's the government-sanctioned slaughter of humans they don't identify with at the hands of anyone but their own [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/dog_lovers_needed_for_intimate_encounters.html Mon, 24 May 2010 01:08:28 GMT Have you ever gone through the process of adopting a "rescue" dog? If you haven't, but are considering doing so, prepare to have hipster lesbians with emotional disorders treat you like a mongoloid in need of a helmet and full-time adult supervision [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/quoteworthiness.html Mon, 24 May 2010 01:06:25 GMT I'm a fiend for good quotes. Not the assholic drivel your company posts beneath stock photos of non-white people pretending to enjoy work in an attempt to make you think you're not wasting your life that say shit like, "Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last." Now type faster, monkey! [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/irregardless_you_re_still_a_moron.html Thu, 20 May 2010 00:53:45 GMT As we get stupider and stupiderer, it is with increased frequency we speak improperly. The hallmark of hopelessness, however, is use of the non-word "irregardless" [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/weekend_shopping_ground_beef.html Tue, 18 May 2010 01:28:24 GMT Fifty pounds of 80/20 ground beef, eight pound whole sirloin, four pounds of golden raw butter, couple pounds of ground lamb for shits and giggles, and a cow heart for an extra kick in the pants [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_vision_never_dies.html Sun, 16 May 2010 22:57:37 GMT There's an old riddle that asks who would win in a fight: Lemmy or God. The answer, Lemmy is God, is incorrect. Lemmy is actually seated at the right hand of the true Metal God: New Hampshire-born Ronnie James Dio, who died today, making May 16, The Year Of Our Dio 2010, the Blackest Sunday [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/pair_o_texts.html Sat, 15 May 2010 11:42:54 GMT I'd like to share with you two entirely unrelated text messages I received last night, each from a different, close friend. I will do nothing to contextualize the messages. Just read them, and be glad I keep the company of individuals of unparalleled moral character [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/diversity_awesome.html Thu, 13 May 2010 01:22:13 GMT My place of employment has a Diversity Team. I'm sure yours does too. Aren't they wonderful? Don't they make you feel good inside? Perhaps you're a member. Well, thank you and congratulations! It's quite progressive of you. Forward-thinking if I may be so bold. Your stubborn, shortsighted refusal to define yourself and others simply as human beings is evidence of your greatness. Did I say greatness? I meant sad, misguided, ignorant douchebaggery [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_running_of_the_moms.html Sun, 09 May 2010 22:50:55 GMT I've run with the bulls in Pamplona. I stood only feet from a man as he was gored half to death. His blood still stains the soles of the shoes I wore, a constant reminder of the fragility of human life. Never, though, not even on that day, have I feared for my own life, indeed, had it flash repeatedly before my eyes, with such an intense despair as that which came over me Saturday morning [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/pregnant_bears_and_gogurt.html Wed, 05 May 2010 02:12:57 GMT What would your reaction be if you entered a room in the maternity ward of any random hospital and saw the following: An adult bear, overweight, acne-riddled, brace-faced, glasses, bleached blonde hair, hooked up to a dozen machines, having her cubs sliced out of her body by a team of white-coats? [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/fda_vs_food.html Mon, 03 May 2010 00:58:53 GMT Dan Allgyer, an Amish farmer from Kinzers, PA, recently had his farm invaded by armed government food bullies for the second time this year. With the average American enjoying unprecedented thriving health, doubtlessly thanks to the food pyramid and recommended daily allowance charts, our wonderful Food and Drug Administration, having solved everyone else's problems, has set its sights on Lancaster County, Pennsylvania - Amish Country [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/fda_raids_amish_farmer_dan_allgyer.html Mon, 03 May 2010 00:57:54 GMT At 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday April 20, Amish farmer Dan Allgyer went outside to begin milking his small herd of dairy cows. On the normally quiet Kinzer Road in front of his farm, just a few miles from the Nickel Mines Amish massacre of 2006, several unfamiliar vehicles drove slowly past [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/my_three_legged_gay_nightmare.html Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:19:40 GMT I just woke up after one of the strangest dreams I've ever had and feel compelled to detail and post it here before I forget what happened. Not that that would be possible considering how randomly disturbing it was. If you fancy yourself a dream analyst, feel free to take a run at this and share with me your thoughts [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/young_boys_cocks_equal_heavy_web_traffic.html Thu, 22 Apr 2010 11:51:11 GMT Nothing is more entertaining than seeing the random, insane, perverse, indescribable things that dullards and deviants are out there searching for. The two main searches that land people here at my little interweb wonderworld are 1) little boys' cocks and 2) Michael Jackson's cock. http://unleashthebeef.com/all_you_ever_needed_to_know_about_vegetables_in_30_seconds.html Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:11:22 GMT Vegetables shatter the lives of innocent children [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/some_people_actually_get_it.html Sat, 17 Apr 2010 13:03:56 GMT Let's face it; very few women are worth paying attention to. Outside of Ayn Rand, Lierre Keith, and Karen DeCoster, I struggle to name a female that's ever had anything interesting or relevant to say. Oops, did I leave Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton off the list? Good. Once in a while, though, a lass turns up and really "gets it." Today, I'd like to spotlight one such fine lady [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/income_tax_equals_slavery.html Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:31:20 GMT I invite each and every one of you that believe it's "our patriotic duty" to pay taxes, to patriotically fist yourself. Now, some tax day fodder:<br><br>From Frank Chodorov, The Income Tax: Root of All Evil:<br><br>"[T]he Sixteenth Amendment corroded the American concept of natural rights; ultimately reduced the American citizen to a status of subject, so much so that he is not aware of it; enhanced Executive power to the point of reducing Congress to innocuity; and enabled the central government to bribe the states, once independent units, into subservience. No kingship in the history of the world ever exercized more power than our Presidency, or had more of the people's wealth at its disposal." [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/slow_updates.html Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:29:15 GMT I know, updates have been lacking lately. If I actually had any computer knowledge, I'd use WordPress and provide far more, typically shorter, updates, and this would be a bit more like a real "blog." I don't know what a real blog is, but that last sentence sounded right, so there it is. As it stands, I'm borderline retarded, and have created the most labor-intensive possible strategy for updating and managing this site. If anyone witnessed my process for posting a new entry, they would punch me in my face and close down the site for my own well being [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/myspace_lost_convos_1.html Thu, 25 Mar 2010 12:34:19 GMT I used to maintain a MySpace page as a hot female from Boston in order to solicit emails from typical MySpace douchenozzles, fuck with them, and post the conversations. Walk with me down MySpace Memory Lane [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/the_reward_mentality.html Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:32:53 GMT A classic symptom of our aberrant mindset is the reward mentality - especially as it applies to food. <br><br>If you get an A in math class, Mommy will buy you an ice cream sundae.<br><br>Finish your broccoli and you can play an extra 17 hours of video games.<br><br>If I don't eat junk food for one whole week, I'll celebrate with a triple stack of chocolate-chip pancakes and a double-order of buffalo wings.<br><br>If I stick to my diet for one year, I'll reward myself by snuffing out a Guatemalan prostitute. After all, I deserve it [...]<br> http://unleashthebeef.com/i_ll_take_the_next_customer_to_hell.html Fri, 05 Mar 2010 11:03:22 GMT I'm all for selfishness. Really, I am. The "selflessness" bullshit we're indoctrinated with as children only creates confusion and resentment as it's "taught" to us through compulsion by confused, resentful, selfish adults. Will can be exerted through the barrel of a gun, but lessons aren't necessarily learned this way - well, other than "stay away from the motherfucker with the gun because he's quite unreasonable" [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/good_deeds_+_jerkoffs_=_bad_publicity.html Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:36:15 GMT I signed out of a Yahoo email account today and noticed the headline on their default page reading "Eli Manning won’t take broke hospital's money." Intrigued and bored enough to follow the link, I read the story and learned that Manning is forgiving payment of over a half million dollars for marketing work he's done for St. Vincent's Hospital in New York. What's more, he's promised to stay on-board and fundraise for them free of charge. So that's all fine, I've got no beef with that, but then - of course - just to grind my nuts on the pavement, the article goes on to discuss the negative publicity Manning has received from this story [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/deep_in_the_beef_of_texas.html Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:13:23 GMT Few environments are as comforting as the one I found myself in this weekend. Some people get that warm, happy-all-over feeling when they return to their childhood home. Others are solaced by a visit to the ocean. I just so happened to find myself seated at a Rudy's Bar-B-Q alongside I-35 north of Dallas when that transcendent feeling of bliss swept over me [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/state_of_the_beef.html Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:50:17 GMT Half a year and no beef from yours truly! How ever have my legions of carnivorous, perverse followers survived my absence? Well, a few haven't, if their desperate emails are any indication. And it's a borderline miracle that I have. I understand death threats from insecure maniacs that react angrily to my words because they dislike them - I get that - it's just good, clean, totally sane fun. But I find it a bit odd when fans write in and threaten to murder me in cold blood if I fail to update the site [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/unanticipated_gay_porn.html Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:59:01 GMT Let me tell you what I find unsettling - and don't pretend you don't know exactly what I'm talking about here: When I'm minding my own heterosexual business, casually perusing (and by casually perusing, I mean feverishly scouring) one of these porn clip sites, you know - with all the picture previews of videos, and, seemingly at random, BAM - a picture of two hunky dudes disemboweling each other with their man-shanks appears [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/me_1_cycledouche_0.html Thu, 20 Aug 2009 21:46:19 GMT Oh glorious day! I've wanted to post this all ding dang f'ing day, but have been reluctant to as it seems too good to be true considering Monday's post on cyclists. That post, though, clearly created good karma, whatever the hell karma is, because I've been floating on cloud nine since witnessing an awesome - nay, magical - nay, <i>spiritual</i> event this morning which I will relate to you.......... now [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/cyclists.html Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:00:03 GMT Let's go to our Unleash The Beef news-copter for a live traffic report.<br><br><i>Well, freeways are clear and flowing nicely this afternoon, but local roads appear to be clogged by self-important imbeciles in really tight outfits peddling around atop their douchecycles. Back to you in the newsroom</i> [...]<br> http://unleashthebeef.com/ccs_updates_8.15.09.html Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:34:38 GMT Last weekend's Rice Krispies post reminded me of a tribute to Chocolate Lucky Charms that I posted early on in the life of Crapping Common Sense (my old site). Only I wasn't mocking it, I was honestly celebrating my fascination with it as at that point in my life, it was the best thing that had ever happened to my morning [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/beef_moments_8.15.09.html Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:33:56 GMT Just a taste of ass-stompery from the epic/hilarious Gran Torino. http://unleashthebeef.com/beef_mailbag_8.12.09.html Wed, 12 Aug 2009 10:12:53 GMT Hey now, it's the first Unleash The Beef mailbag! Try to contain yourself. We're going three deep and all female - one of which actually deserves to continue breathing. This is the actual crap that shows up in my inbox, unedited. Do I think I'm accomplishing anything when I respond to hate mail from people with two digit IQs? No. But you should be glad I do, otherwise I couldn't post it here for your enjoyment. On to the stupidity [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/rice_krispies_will_cure_us.html Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:41:44 GMT Hey folks! Are you bothered by nagging colds or allergies? Still catch the flu every winter despite allowing a complete stranger to inject your body with a concoction of ingredients you know nothing about? Swine-flu-blues got you down? Wanna bang AIDS-infested hookers without a rubber and still sleep comfortably at night? Sounds like you could use an immunity boost [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/theyre_all_gonna_laugh_at_you.html Wed, 05 Aug 2009 13:17:34 GMT The greatest difficulty faced by the average person considering a carnivorous / zero-carb diet is overcoming acculturation - the mental block that goes up when we hear something that we presume to be untrue or impossible, not because of it actually being untrue or impossible, but because it contradicts what we've been programmed to believe by our parents and culture [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/weekend_shopping.html Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:10:07 GMT Ninety pounds of ribeye and two cases of Poland Spring. It'll be two months before I restock anything. That's it. Grocery shopping made easy... life made easy. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/flagrant_cunts_amuse_me.html Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:57:04 GMT Flagrant cunts amuse me.<br><br>This couldn't have happened at a more appropriate time, considering last week's post on Michael Vick. The following is a play by play of what transpired last night while taking my dog out. The whole "event" lasted about five minutes, but surely created a lifetime of memories for one lucky, completely insane woman. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/simplicity_truth_freedom.html Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:29:40 GMT This is a long-winded post and may go over the head of those lacking basic comprehension skills. The objective is to reiterate the simplicity of the zero carb path and encourage everyone to reduce the amount of stress and obsession that consumes a lot of space here. As usual, it will not kiss your ass or tell you that everything is going to be OK. If for any reason this offends you, I sincerely do not apologize. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/beef_moments_7.26.09.html Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:26:48 GMT "I don't like repeat offenders. I like dead offenders." [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/officer_professor_president.html Sun, 26 Jul 2009 12:25:25 GMT I avoid mainstream news and current events at all costs, since items filed under such headings tend to be mere distractions from reality, but despite my minimal involvement with society, even I have not been able to avoid the relentless inanity sparked by the arrest of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/rascal_faggs.html Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:58:21 GMT I bet they listen to Rascal Flatts records at NAMBLA meetings. Honestly. These guys suck on a level that's hard to reach. How much unbridled douchefactor can the American public take from these crotch goblins? They truly create music to molest children to [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/dont_dog_michael_vick.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:58:59 GMT Today marks the official release from house arrest of the premier villain of the 21st century; Michael Dwayne Vick. In related news, Lucifer is expected to rise and devour the Earth [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/wrestling_moments_7.18.09.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:13:00 GMT "Stand Back" by Vince and The Hulkamaniacs at the 1987 WWF Slammy Awards.<br><br>There's no telling what I'd pay for a documentary on this event including rehearsal footage for the performance, with the Macho Man continually turning left when he's supposed to turn right as Brutus Beefcake and Jake Roberts grow visibly frustrated [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/links_7.18.09.html Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:12:52 GMT - UFC 100 And The Buffer 360. Great unsung moment in UFC history.<br><br>- More Health Insurance Is Not The Answer. Common sense courtesy of John Stossel and John Stossel's moustache [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/i_eat_meat_period.html Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:13:12 GMT My original plan for the dietary aspect of the site was to chronicle my experiences seeking truth in nutrition over the last few years blow for blow, beginning with my initial awakening and the ensuing dietary clean-up, my eventual move to organic/raw, the fruitarian nightmare that followed, and finally arriving at carnivory. But the site's hardly been up a week and I'm already receiving emails along the lines of [...] http://unleashthebeef.com/netflix_pop_under.html Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:26:24 GMT So there you are, Netflix pop-under advertisement. I've just closed my browser, expecting to see only the peaceful waves of my lake scene background, but I'm caught off guard as I notice you floating at the center of my desktop, beckoning me to "try you" for "FREE." You've done it again, Netflix pop-under. You've slithered your way onto my screen, lurking deceitfully behind the cover of my browser, lying in wait like a crazed rapist[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/moment_on_a_dumpster.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:57:12 GMT On a hot afternoon early in summer 2006, I stood atop 10,000 pounds of freshly discarded junk, lunging up and down in an attempt to pack it below the lip of the dumpster it was contained in. I, along with my older brother, had spent the last few hours cleaning twenty-five years worth of accumulated nonsense out of my parents' house. As delightful as it is heaving heavy objects out second and third story windows and watching them shatter on the ground, I was not enjoying the destruction[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/ufc_100.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:48:36 GMT When people shell out $50 for a PPV, it's absolute horseshit that Dana White and the UFC doesn't televise the full card from beginning to end. As last night's event came on air, the octagon was already soaked in blood. Great. So this means there's been significant trauma that we won't get to see[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/interdietary.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:48:34 GMT Really? Inter-fucking-dietary?<br><br>This idiotic phrase comes from an article that was recently linked to on the ZIOH Forum. It's unfortunate that we've arrived at a point as a culture... as a civilization... as an effing species, where the coining of such a phrase becomes - not necessary - but even possible. It's depressing that humans try so desperately to define themselves by any term except the one they are: fucking human[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/lebron_james.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:48:32 GMT The sports world is all in a huff over reports that after being dunked on by Xavier's Jordan Crawford during a basketball camp pick-up game, LeBron James instructed Nike officials (Nike is the camp sponsor/organizer/whatever) to confiscate all video being taken by onlookers, which they did. Nike claims confiscating the video had nothing to do with LeBron being dunked on, and that they were simply enforcing their policy of no video inside the camp. Of course. Since nobody seems willing to speak plainly on the matter, allow me...<br><br>Under the assumption that the report is accurate, LeBron James is a cunt[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/michael_jackson.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:48:31 GMT Yes, I understand Michael Jackson was the most notorious entertainer on the planet. I also understand that, as a culture, we've developed such an intense phobia of our own mortality that we've lost our ability to say "good riddance" when some societal bane croaks[...] http://unleashthebeef.com/hot_beef_injection.html Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:48:23 GMT As I've aimlessly wandered the web the last few years, I've been unable to escape the nagging sensation that something was missing. There seemed to be a void needing filling, yet I couldn't define that void, thus could not imagine what to fill it with. Was it a lack of themed reality porn sites? [...]